Combustion

I carefully placed my hands across my lap as I sat myself down across the table from her. I wanted to open my mind wide to her. I really wish she was a mind-reader. All those memories and those moments to be conjured into her pretty little head, that's all I wanted again. I slowly lifted my eyes and glanced at her through my long eyelashes. She had no idea I was watching her. Intensely. Gazing. Grazing her face, her body, her mind all through my eyes. I could feel the lingering sense of touch with just a glance. Her fragrance filled my heart with warmth. Her perfume was a mix of sweet honey with a dash of cinnamon and spice ; exactly what I felt about her. She was too occupied in her own world. She looked ethereal as she slid her fingers across the items, slowly, very slowly. She seemed distant. Why wasn't she on the same page as me? 

"Sweetheart, what would you like to order?" I whispered across. I inched closer but she retreated.

She didn't even look up. She just pointed carelessly. Something was definitely wrong. Something had changed, but what? Why was she so distant? It was almost as if she was in a different world altogether. I knew I had lost her. Not just tonight, but forever. She looked away and all I could see were her dead eyes. I knew that this wasn't her. Whenever I have laid my eyes on her, she had a sparkle. She had a smile that could fill any cracked heart. She was that light that shone through the open cuts of my heart. She brought me joy and laughter and she was the only one who could. But why was she being so distant? She barely even complimented my new haircut let alone my new scent. 

She used to always;

Embrace me multiple times to stitch my pieces back together.

Stare at me and lusciously smack her lips.

Giggle so loud that everyone around us would give us dirty stares.

Playfully run her fingers through my hair. 

Dance in the middle of the streets with her arms raised above her head.

Flip her hair through the wind, gazing at me simultaneously. 

Talk to me through the magical touch of our lips.

Touch my soul without laying a hand on me. 

It made me so weak. I couldn't show it to her but every damn time she did these things, I melted. 

So why was she so distant?

I wanted to hold her so badly. I wanted to hug her and squeeze her tight till I could transmit all the light she used to have, into me. Share it with me babe, give me that same radiance you once used to. I need it, please. You keep me sane. Please don't let go now. Sometimes, I used to imagine us like fire and petrol. Separately, we are significant but together, when we infuse, we create magic. Enough combustion to light up the entire city. 

Come closer. Just one last time. I promise this time I won't let go. 

- Larisha Sajhwani

Ps: Every piece of writing on my blog is purely for pleasure. It has no resemblance or relevance to any person or situation in particular. Thank you.